Effects of Ambition
You could argue that for any species to survive it needs, at the very least, the ambition to stay alive and reproduce. Well, IMPRV-U is kinda like herpes. Most people are only slightly annoyed if they get a cold sore, but are pretty inconvenienced by an outbreak of weeping genital sores. Similarly, when IMPRV-U is only affecting our ability to get our basic needs met, it’s relatively harmless. It’s when it spreads into the conscious mind that it starts having more dire effects.
Wars
People filling their time with thoughts of harvests, or livestock, or childbirth didn’t have any nooks or crannies left in their brains for the virus to live. The upper crust, however, had people to worry about those things for them, and therefore they had ballrooms worth of mental space for IMPRV-U to settle into.
America
Like rats abetting the proliferation of the bubonic plague, the growth rate of IMPRV-U compounded exponentially on the coattails of a new menace: “The American Dream”. The United States hired the ancestors of the Mad Men guys and sold citizens of all nationalities the fantastic notion that anyone could achieve unlimited success in a Valhalla that would openly present them with a wealth of opportunities to unlock their dormant potential. The narrative that the tall poppy gets cut down transformed into one where the rising tide raises all boats.
I bet there was a better way to tie those together, but I’m sitting in a Law and Order room waiting for the next round of jury selection, you’re going to have to settle with what my cranky ass can deliver at the moment. And you’re going to like it!
This new “promised land” not only encouraged people to strive for something better, it demanded it. Settling for the status quo was no longer an isolated personal choice, but an outright slap in the face of your future offspring and an affront to the growth of the whole human race.
Only an ungrateful miscreant would refuse to capitalize on the new possibilities presented by this magnanimous nation! Why, anyone who could reject the chance to create a better life for yourself, must also wish to see progress stop for all civilization! What if Rockefeller had been content to follow in the footsteps of his father and become a traveling salesman??
The American Dream as a IMPRV-U delivery system went beyond contaminating a single population, then relying on parents to pass it on to their children, but consisted of an additional, time-released infection to subsequent generations. Using an ingenious feedback loop, an individual was driven by the knowledge that all their labor and struggling would result in a strong foundation for their children’s success, and these children were then motivated to achieve this success by the guilt of squandering the sacrifices of their parents.
But we didn’t ask our parents to bust their humps to build a framework for us to become doctors, lawyers, or reality tv stars. Don’t blame your shitty lives on future life forms that have zero choice in where/when/why/and who they are born to! There’s no spiritual placement agency that matches immaterial psyches with corporeal forms based on a personality test or the “objectives” section of their resumes. That’s some Beetlejuice nonsense.
As if the shame of disappointing your dilapidated caregivers wasn’t burdensome enough, IMPRV-U has recently evolved a secondary characteristic that not only fills its host with the burning need to flourish, but pressures them to have a personal connection to their endeavors. Today’s generations can no longer decide to go into business because they simply want financial stability and cocaine connections. A job in the service industry is only acceptable for people who are waiting for their creative arts careers to take off. Parents should work second jobs to pay for a nanny rather than sacrifice career growth for family distractions. Parents want their children to be happier than they were, and employers expect applicants to be passionate about an entry level job that doesn’t offer health benefits and requires you to go back for your Master’s to ever get a promotion.
Passion
Even accepting a position in an established fields is losing credibility as a worthwhile allocation of resources. The world is only interested in trailblazers, entrepreneurs, and visionaries. They want success stories that come from people who chased an unusually sophisticated childhood dream and followed their bliss to the top of a sexy new industry.
The fight against IMPRV-U is an up-hill battle as the cunning affliction continues to evolve and disseminate at an uncompromising pace. It’s course is unpredictable since it advances not merely by adapting to suit it’s changing environment, but by effectively directing its hosts to create a reality that grows ever more dependent on its existence.
So, as you can see, it’s not your fault that you’ve been chasing your tail in an effort to always be better than you were yesterday. Society fucked you.
Luckily for you, I’m smarter than society and only 10% more likely to make you cry.