Large Scale Comparing
Believe it or not, the world is bigger than your social reach, and there’s more to consider than what’s photographable. Or maybe you don’t know a lot of cool people. Maybe you’ve purposefully surrounded yourself with people less successful than you in order to appear more impressive. That’s some dishonest shit. I like it.
If examining the lives of people you know isn’t providing you with the appropriate amount of hopelessness, let’s take a look at some of the stuff people from history have done with their lives.
I mean, most of those people didn’t even have the internet!
If you were born in Ancient Rome you probably would’ve been one of those people left on a rock in the woods for being an ugly baby. If you were living in the 18th century you’d totally be one of those people that had to clean the poop poor people dumped out their windows into the streets. You wouldn’t even be important enough to clean the chamber pots of rich people. During the Great Depression you would’ve been eaten by your neighbors way before they even considered eating the stray dog with loose bowels. (PS the dog would’ve been given your bones).
So, what about your contribution to society?
I’m sorry, that should have said: what have you contributed to society?
I started this entire book off by educating you on the pointlessness of achievement in the grand scheme of the universe, so this should really be a moot point, but since I wrote the question, I’ll humor myself.
Try to come up with something you think people will remember you for in fifty years
How long did that one take you? I bet you didn’t even do it. I don’t know why I still bother with you sometimes.
If you’re thinking something dumb like “my children are my legacy”, stop. There are child prodigies in the world right now with borderline superhuman talents, and 99% of the population isn’t even aware they exist. Your little brats will probably bitch to their own offspring about what a douche you were as a parent, but we both know the only lasting impression you’re leaving on future branches of your family tree is the burden of your student loans and credit card debt that will transfer to them when you die.
And why are you thinking of having kids anyway?? We’re overpopulated enough as it is! Let’s leave the reproducing to the Hemsworths and people who might possibly give us the next Steve Jobs, who, we both know, is not you. Adopt an orphan if you’re so desperate to be loved. Or a dog. Actually, spare the dog. No pet deserves to be saddled with you for an owner.