Emotional Disregulation
Just because we’re all born with the ability to identify specific emotions, doesn’t mean we’re required to understand and regulate them. They’re like teeth. Today’s accepted minimum criterion for oral hygiene dictates that everyone should brush their teeth twice a day, while flossing and mouthwash are highly encouraged by dental professionals. Routine trips to the dentist are encouraged to maintain the health of your mouth, but even those who don’t make regular visits are expected to seek treatment when problems arise, such as cavities or gum disease. Additionally, society strongly suggests you take steps to prevent and/or correct issues with the alignment of your teeth or jaw if they fall outside an established standard, and there are further levels of cosmetic treatments that are marketed for those looking to achieve the collective definition of “the perfect smile”.
I realize it’s going to be a tough sell if I continue on the path of this metaphor and equate what I’m encouraging you to do with not brushing your teeth and letting your gums rot, so I’m going to leave it there and quickly side step out of that fart.
I like having teeth too.
But emotions can’t chew your food, so they aren’t worth all the attention and work that’s required to achieve the level of mental health that is promoted in Placeholder.
Now that you have a better understanding of what emotions are and the excuses that have allowed them to become an accepted part of our reality, we can begin your detox process and move you from a place where you depend on your emotions to navigate your life, to one where you detest and avoid them at all costs.
Giving up requires vacillating between suppressing emotions and becoming overwhelmed by them.
Relinquishing your sense of control and awareness of your emotional experience is the foundation for breaking down your motivation and eroding away at any hope you may hold on to when you imagine your future. Given that you already have a number of tools to regulate your emotions deeply ingrained in your subconscious, this will be an ongoing challenge that you will need to refocus your attention on over and over before it feels natural, but laying the groundwork here will make later concepts much easier to attack.
Much like a tumor that has been allowed to proliferate throughout the body before being identified as the dangerous cancer that it is, I can’t simply cut out your emotions, send you home with some antibiotics and highly-addictive painkillers, and congratulate myself for curing you while your newfound dependence on opioids rapidly destroys the lives of you and your loved ones.
For one thing, I don’t have a medical degree.
So, since the malignant emotions will still exist while we pursue our treatment, we can at least learn methods to use their power against them.
Goals of Emotional Disregulation
Complicate your experience
Increase your vulnerability
Increase your suffering
When setting goals it’s good to use vague terms that make it difficult to measure your progress or gain insight into what’s working and what’s not. The good thing about my approach to goals is that we can put loads of mental, physical, and monetary resources towards them, without the risk of ever achieving anything! Stick around and I’ll show you how it’s done.